Jan 19, 2022
Your stories - the ones you tell to yourself internally and the ones you speak to others externally - influence your reality far more than you realize.
We all have stories that have shaped our lives. They’ve built our identities, frame our current mindsets, and determine the meaning we derive from the world around us. These stories have tremendous sway over your success. The question is: Are you aware of how your stories are shaping you?
In today’s post, I’m sharing some takeaways from a recent conversation I had with mindset master Kimberly Kesting of Enlifted Coaches, a coaching system and technique that’s all about unlocking freedom and confidence through the power of story-telling.
If you’d like to listen in to this value-packed conversation, check out Episode 83 of the Breakthrough Babe podcast, then read on to learn how to consciously identify when you’ve slipped into a scarcity mindset, and then how to rewrite that story for greater abundance and limitless possibilities.
About Enlifted Coaches
I met Kimberly through Enlifted Coaches, which is a certification program that trains coaches how to help their clients move beyond self-sabotage and make lasting changes by focusing on language and story-telling.
I recently completed this program and it was genuinely life-changing for both me and my clients. These methodologies WORK.
With their system, we take and deconstruct the language patterns and words that we use to understand how they create either our victim mindset or our hero's mindset. Once we do that, we can actually practice translating and changing them in a practical way.
A story creates a story
When we tell ourselves something consistently over and over again, we take on that belief and it manifests in our lives.
Words are the foundation. Then, a story is what's created from the words, and that story becomes our beliefs. Our beliefs influence how we navigate through the world and how we make sense of who we are, our identity.
It’s important to note that language patterns are deeply ingrained in us and in our society. There is so much going on beneath the surface that you may not even be aware of.
Once you do become aware of the fact that these stories, patterns, and phrases have been conditioned into you, you then have to learn the difference between hearing them + allowing them to manifest in your life vs translating them + correcting them into a way that’s positive and productive. That's what the Enlifted Method teaches.
Are you unconsciously creating what you DON’T want?
The words we use matter. When we use negating language, it puts the energetic focus on exactly what we don’t want to happen.
For example, if you say things like, I don’t know how to make sales. I can’t bring in money. I’m not a seller.
All of a sudden, you’re creating what you don’t want - a lack of sales. The belief in yourself as a good salesperson isn’t there. By repeating the above over and over again (even if it’s just in your head), you’ve ingrained the belief.
Victim’s mindset → Hero’s mindset
The victim’s mindset is really someone who believes things are happening to them; everything's a result of something outside of themselves. They're in this place: “Things just keep happening to me!”
The truth is, this is where a lot of people land and reside, whether they're conscious of it or not. And the way that that mindset gets perpetuated is through conflict language (a concept you get deeper into understanding in the Enlifted certification program).
If you’re here reading this and listening to my podcast, I know you want to get into the space of the hero’s mindset. You're consuming content to improve yourself and to expand your capacity to be that hero. And you may very well be on your way there.
A victim’s mentality doesn’t have to be all-consuming though; it can be something that’s triggered by certain situations. And it can be hard to identify without the guidance of an outside perspective like a certified coach.
For example, it could be every time your business doesn’t make the sales you want, you become the victim. You start to ask yourself, Why me? What's going on? Why is this happening to me? You're the victim. And then you create this evidence route that further deepens your victim mentality. It's possible that you are a hero in your general life, and a victim in certain situations, particularly because it’s in your subconscious.
Turning your What Ifs from negative to positive statements
In the coaching world, I find everyone is so focused on finding their limiting beliefs, almost to a fault. In some cases, this focus ends up keeping people limited. It’s a limiting bleed.
You think, There must be something limiting me.
But what if there is nothing actually limiting you?
Instead of all the negative what ifs… What if they don't buy? What if I show up live and no one else does? What if my product doesn't work? What if people don't like it?
How about you turn those what ifs into positive statements like: What if a thousand people show up? What if a thousand people buy? What if I make a million dollars on my first product? What if people like it so much that I have a wait list because it sells out?
I’d love to hear you shift your own What Ifs. Head on over to Instagram and tell me how you’re taking one particular negative What If and turning it into a positive one.
Find out more
Enlifted Coaches is all about helping coaches (and thus, their clients), find the moments, memories, and instances where they have built their identity, mindset, and meaning to turn those beliefs on their head. Stuck in a limiting belief or story? Let’s diffuse it, unwind it, let it go, release it, laugh about it, and breathe through it.
Check them out on Instagram @enliftedcoaches (where you can DM and chat with Kimberly herself!). If this is work you’re interested in doing with a coach of your own, please do reach out to me on Instagram @jengitomer or apply to be a part of my 2022 Mastermind Group, where we dig deep into these powerful mindset shifts together.