Dec 15, 2021
Do you still make New Year’s resolutions?
No judgment, but I have to admit that I’ve got some beef with resolutions.
My issue has to do with both the terminology, and the energy behind the practice.
In today’s post, I have a New Year’s swap I’d like to recommend you make. It’s far more empowering, AND it is far more likely you’ll stick with your 2022 goals by framing them in this way.
Read on to find out more about why making a New Year’s promise to yourself is transformative (hint: it has everything to do with personal integrity!).
The word “resolution” is unnecessarily harsh.
Now’s the time of the year when most people start thinking about their goals for the upcoming year. And we’ve been accustomed as a society to label these goals as New Year’s resolutions. But have you ever stopped to wonder what the word resolution even means?
I’ve long disliked the term resolution because it actually has quite a negative connotation. When you look it up in the dictionary, one of the definitions is: “the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.”
Whoever came up with the concept of labeling our goals as New Year's resolutions was clearly not a wordsmith. Words - and the intention/definition behind them - matter far more than most people realize.
Let me ask you this: Which do you think is going to serve you more? Looking at your problems, disputes, and other contentious matters in your life and making goals around them? Or looking at where you're at, the foundation + growth you created this year, along with all the things that you accomplished, then making goals about where you’d like to go from there?
I think we can both agree that the latter option is what will truly help you thrive. That’s because it’s rooted in positivity and possibility, not negativity.
Here’s what to do instead of making New Year’s resolutions.
Are you ready to join me in letting go of setting New Year’s resolutions?
Now, I’m not suggesting that you give up on setting goals and other intentions for the new year ahead. What I’m recommending is that you reframe them from a more positive space - a space grounded in integrity.
Instead, start by creating New Year’s promises to yourself. A promise to yourself that you can keep is so freaking powerful for many reasons.
Start by determining where you are, and where you’d like to go. Then, think about what happens when you get there; who do you become? Because the person that you become when you get to your goal is the person that you need to start feeling, living, breathing inside of you right now. Because if you've dreamed that goal, that means that you're capable of being that person that can live that goal.
Then, you form that goal into a promise you make to yourself. I’m telling you - once you add the words “I promise” to it, you actually start focusing on the things you can control.
Next, ask yourself, Are these promises based on things that I can achieve?
The first promise we make is to ourselves. And if you break a promise to yourself, you're out of integrity. And if you do that, how are you going to stand in integrity for anyone else in your life?
Make your promises specific.
I know, as a person who follows me, integrity matters to you. This is why it’s so important to get specific about the promises you make to yourself so you can make them achievable - because you do not want to break a promise to yourself.
Think about your promises. What will it look like to achieve them?
Let’s say you want to create a new morning routine to better care for yourself so you can be better available to serve others. This is where you dig into the details because “new morning routine” is far too vague.
Think about what you’d like to get out of this new morning routine and the factors you can control to make those things a reality. This can be anything from a specific wake up time, to the first thing you do when you wake up, to the actions you will intentionally avoid engaging in that can derail you (ie. checking social media first thing).
With these specific actions, you can then make a commitment to yourself - a promise to yourself - to take care of your needs first, knowing that when you take care of yourself first, you can more easily take care of others.
Write your New Year’s promises down.
Not sure what promises to make to yourself for next year?
Begin by journaling about where you’re at right now. Then, contemplate where you’d like to be and who you’d like to become in 2022. From there is where you determine which promises you want to make for yourself. And remember: these are something positive that you get to do - it’s all going to help you get to where you want to go.
In order to really create what you want in life and in your business, it needs to start with the promises that you make to yourself and the integrity you build by keeping those promises. Once you're living in integrity with yourself, then you can be a pillar of integrity for your clients, for your business, for your team, and for everyone else. If you're not in integrity for yourself first, it's going to be quite difficult to be in integrity for others.
So, my friend, I want to know: What’s one promise you are making to yourself right now for the new year ahead? Reach out and share it with me on Instagram @jengitomer.
I’m here to support you, right now and in the upcoming year. If you’re looking for coaching through this process, please don’t hesitate to reach out.